Bad Monday Morning...

Once again, I had been *defeated* by my boss' 'FUTURE TALKS'.

I WAS IN TEARS...AGAIN?

haiz~ lousy lady...but everything seem to be back to normal again after I dashed out of his office...but i know, IT IS NOT OKAY!

Was it just me or wat? A typical victim of cowardity which almost had my life ruined (hasn't it already done enough damage to my life? Hmmm...)

Right now, I feel badly-wounded (mentally), not by those 'FUTURE TALKS' but by myself.

My own crowdity had restricted me from pursuing my dream...and now it seems so far far away from me.

I tried staying 'AH Q' about it...but REALITY IS EVER O SO HARSH!

I know that I am now doing something which I don't like, and yet I NEED TO DO IT because I NEED IT FOR SURVIVAL...

*DOH*

Isn't the reason SO CLEAR? Can i make the best out of the worst?I couldn't stop the tears gushing out the moment i think that I AM SUCH A USELESS person...i couldn't...I want to face my fear...but instead, I am avoiding my fear in one hand and not doing anything to get rid of it on another hand?

I am already gotten defeated by my emotion even before i could start doing anything to deal with it [damn it] WHAT AM I THINKING ABOUT?

Perhaps, I am just a pathetic lady in the world of self-pity....

*SHIT* WAKE UP!! NO TIME FOR ANY MORE SELF-PITY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*DAMN IT* ............&&^%$#....................KYAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!