Hated this feeling....

This is the first post since I've turned 30.

Had a little argument with my brother just now while we were on our way home. Felt very bad partly because I knew this unhappiness could be avoided if my EQ were a little better during that moment, but alas, like always, I screwed it up again!

Feel like crying now... in fact, my eyes are already swelled with tears as I am typing this blog. What is wrong with me anyway? Haven't I learnt any lessons from all those ordeals of mine?

Bad girl....

Lousy girl...

Never liked myself anyway....no wonder I keep making so many mistakes...why would I treated myself good if I never liked myself in the first place? Why am I going through all these emotional ordeals again? Hated it...hated it....hated it....

Why couldn't I just admit I am just one stubborn mule who is always in denial?

Why couldn't I?

I am really sick of my own personality...what can I do to change it? Of course, only I myself can change it...to make it better or make it worse.

But at this very moment...I just HATED MYSELF...for doing all the incorrect things....hated this feeling....