Crisis...over and over...non stop...

I vacuumed the floor this morning.

Yes!

I didn't wait until Saturday. So, it's somehow a good beginning.

Been busy with the paper works during the entire morning and finally, the goods that came in today have been settled! Gosh! Thank god.

Hmm...the three of us are now facing a crisis. -.-''

Yes, apparently our dear boss is having another round of mood swing AGAIN! Just now, we were discussing about the possible events that might contribute to our endless nightmare and this time, we couldn't figure out any events.

Hmmm...our customers have been paying promptly, even the one who owed us a lot of money has already cleared 90% of their debts.

Business has been good lately, can see it from the numbers of D/O that I've typed and the number of trips my delivery man has made.

Today, we confirmed received the balance amount of the payment from Hong Kong (Phew!) and the large profit margin is now secured in our bank account.

So, what makes him so edgy this time?

URghhhh! When will this nightmare ever end?

Wish me good luck!

What A Mess!

My room is in a mess.

Books on the table, clothes on the iron board, what else? Tons and tons of things accumulated inside the shelves of my open closet.

Should I just leave them alone?

I really don't know the answer.

I am now very tired, but still, I am here, blogging away. Why is that so?

Hmm...

Time is running faster than usual, our pace is still the same, but the ticking of each second is a few milliseconds faster than before.

The impact? Unimaginable.

Okay, first, I need to get myself up 10 minutes earlier than usual for tomorrow because my ez-link value is running low. Meaning? I need to travel a few meters further than the usual bus stop in order to top up my card. Hate it!

Should I tie my hair into a bun or should I just let it down? I know I would choose to let it down eventually because the mood is always different during the morning. Just for this, I am going to tie it into a bun. I WILL! Even if my mood starts protesting, I will STILL TIE IT INTO A BUN! JUST WAIT AND SEE....MUAHHHHA AAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!

Surprisingly, I've managed to complete chapter 66 of 'A point of no return' just before I knock off from work today. Yeah, started to procastinate again when my boss was doing his OT. What kind of worker am I?

Hmmm...well, at least I had already done my work (excuses!).

Well, to be frank, I was not exactly procastinating, because I was really fed up with my new computer and the Words 2003 was giving me a lot of problem with its $%^*$ marco problem.

Due to the resetting of the program, I've lost all my current e-mails in my Outlook 2003. Then only to know that all I need to do was to set the security of the marco. Baka!

Never mind, I shall work extra hard tomorrow.

Let's see...what can I do? Vacuum the floor? Nah....will do it on Saturday.

The chapter needs more editing...don't wanna regret only after posting it up. Will I ever finish my stories? That's a question which I have to find it out myself.

I am thinking of kniting a HP pouch for Dee because the idea of making the Saito Chiho cloth collection seem almost impossible with such limited time. Already have the idea of how I shall go about making the pouch, hope it works. Maybe I can do it tomorrow, after finishing what I have left today since I don't have much appointments during the next few days until Friday.

Maybe I might have the mood to finally clear up my room during the next few days. Would I? I don't really know. It's hard for prediction nowsaday because sometimes, I don't even know what am doing.

Okay, my eyes are getting sleepier and the urge of blogging is slowly fading off.

Ja ne.

Another Time, Another Kiss - Chapter 12

Each day of the seventeen years passed before both Kotoko and Naoki met each other again and each day that passed brought about changes in them. Now that they’ve met, they were no longer the Irie Naoki and Aihara Kotoko who used to live under the same roof and yet, something still remained unchanged.

“Aren’t you going to answer my question?” Reiko asked when she received no response from her husband, who was driving them home from a funeral which she did not want to attend.

“What question?” Naoki threw it back guiltlessly, his eyes fixed on the traffic ahead.

“Just drive your car and think of whatever you want.” Reiko ended the usual solo conversation with a frown and looked away from her husband. Always, she could feel a little knife twisting in her heart whenever Naoki did not bother to prompt.

What was the worthiness of her words? Did they serve their purposes during all those countless converstions that they had shared all these while? Reiko wondered painfully to herself.

Always silence…deep silence all around between the couple and perhaps that was the only reason why they could still be an item.

***
FLASHBACK

“Why are you leaving?” Reiko paused, hesitating as she scanned Kotoko’s face, in search for the actual reason rather than a standard one. “Naoki is not getting transferred, what's the point in doing that?”

“People grow up.” Kotoko said with a forced cheerfulness. “I think it’s about time for me to stop behaving so childishly and…” Kotoko shot Reiko a quick glance, who was staring at her too.

Despite hating Kotoko down to the core ever since the day she painfully understood the fact that Naoki would never be hers, she wanted to know what made Kotoko gave up her ‘dream’. The question loomed sky high, above the two girls.

“…move on.” Kotoko actually finished her sentence with a smile, a smile so sensible that Reiko couldn't help but just stare at her in amazement.

***
The car was abruptly stopped and brought Reiko back from the ‘airport’ seventeen years back.

“Why are we stopping here?” Reiko almost yelled when she noticed Naoki unbuckling his seatbelt. “You take the car.” Naoki muttered without any further explanation and got himself out of the car.

“Irie Naoki!” Reiko’s face grew red with anger and quickly stepped out from the car. “Where are you going?” Reiko screamed out as loud as her lung would allow her to, but Naoki just wandered further and further away from her.

Dark mascara streaked Reiko’s cheeks. Her bright red lipstick was smeared. Her hair, customarily worn on her head like a perfect hat, was mused and displaced. She had strolled into Naoki’s life with a vision of perfection and now, she appeared a broken mannequin.

To be continued…

Atama ga itai desu!!!

Don't really feel like coming to work when I pressed my alarm snooze for the second time, because my face is still peeling!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

One day of fun and continuously days of torture? worthwhile? Hmmm...can only blame myself for the foolish acts of not getting prepared for the long hours of sun-bathing...because the only thing that I could think of was the WATER! And, I don't recall getting sunburn the last time I had exposed myself under the sun for 7 straight hours....any explanation for this?

Hmmm...

"You think you are still very young eh?"

Well, that's the reply my mom gave me. p(>.<')q Not feeling very well right now, getting a headache! It's been quite a while since I've had this kind of headache...the pain is already killing me...thank god that time is moving a little faster than other MONDAYS...so, in another 4 minutes, I am going to pack up and head home....

My Italian supplier made a call just now! hahaha...why? Of course, because of $$$. That's the thing that would make people do something that they seldom do. Well, what can I say? Perhaps this is a little lesson that I am teaching them to stall our commissions during the past...ha!

What goes around, comes around...right? *EVIL ME GRINNING*

Anyway, they can blame the EURO rate for getting so high, so high that it kinda pains me to approve the payment of the lump sum. Hehee...okay, maybe I should start monitor the rate during these two days to see when to buy in the EURO currency.

Wish me good luck!!!

Speechless....

Should I be in tears or what? I am practically running out of tears....why is that so?

Because no amount of tears could express my gratitude towards this kind and sweet lady.

Aitian-chan!!!

YOU ARE practically pampering me with all those sweet and kind encouragements...

(my overwhelmed expression) p(*~*)q(my overwhelmed expression)

I ought to be the one who is grateful for I don't really consider myself as a writer (look at all those grammar mistakes in my fictions) and I don't really deserve a fan....

SO

YOU ARE NOT A FAN!....

BUT A FRIEND...

A SPECIAL FRIEND WHO IS WILLING TO READ A FRIEND'S WORKS...

THANK YOU!

Another Time, Another Kiss - Chapter 11

Doctor Yamada’s phone was ringing when he entered his office. His assistant was holding the door for him because he was very engrossed in one of his patients’ health record.

“Michi-san, can you help me get the phone?” Doctor Yamada requested, while he used his body to stop the door from swinging back to its closed position.

“Moshi moshi.” Michi said, looking at Doctor Yamada. After a moment, she swallowed hard and put her hand on the mouthpiece, “Doctor Yamada, Kotoko is on the line and she wants to talk to you.”

“Tell her I am still not in my office yet.” Doctor Yamada dictated. “Go on, “he urged, “and make it sound a little more truthful than the previous one.”

Michi took a breath and did what Doctor Yamada had suggested. “Sumimasen, Kotoko. But Doctor Yamada is not in his office right now.”

That wasn’t really a lie, Doctor Yamada thought. He wasn’t exactly IN the office yet.

“Pardon me for being nosey,” Michi started after placing the receiver back, “When are you going to tell Kotoko about this?”

“I will speak to her when I know how I should break the news to her. Give me a little more time.” Doctor Yamada pleaded and let out a short sigh. Of course, he was aware of Kotoko's current feeling. Who wouldn't be worry when his or daughter had been in coma for three days and yet they received no specific reasons from their doctors?

“Fine, I will try to stall as long as I can.” Michi agreed but not without her usual sighing and frowning.

Even though Michi hadn’t been very fond of Kotoko since their days as classmates and co-workers mainly because she was tired of looking out for Kotoko's potential mistakes. She adored Kyoko very much like her own. In her eyes, Kyoko was always the smart and diligent lady who knew her what she wants, unlike her mother.

“Kyoko has chosen her genes well.” Michi would always say to Kotoko during their routine gathering, so many times that she was loosing count.

“If there’s nothing else, I shall go out.” Michi said.

“Thank you.” Doctor Yamada proceeded to his table and immediately fell into his arm chair. When the room was completely empty and quiet, Doctor Yamada knew he couldn’t keep the tears from escaping his lids anymore.

“Takashi…buddy...” Doctor Yamada muttered to himself, his tears were cold, tears of fear rather than tears of sorrow.

“And you once told me you don’t believe in retribution.” Doctor Yamada continued, picking a piece of paper that was attached with one of the health reports and stared blankly into it. He then started shaking his head and stopped, shifting his eyes guilty away from the paper.

“I should have stopped you, but I didn’t just because we were best friends and I’ve always thought you were right about everything.”

Doctor Yamada shook his head vigorously again; the tears flew off his cheeks.

“BUT YOU WERE WRONG THIS TIME! AND SEE WHAT YOU’VE DONE TO YOUR NEXT GENERATION?”

Doctor Yamada declared and fixed his glance back to the piece of paper.

“Retributions do exist.”

On it were some scribbled numbers and the name ‘Doctor Irie Naoki’.

To be continued...

Two Days..................

Eh? Is it my computer or what? I don't have any FONT OPTIONS and COLOUR OPTIONS anymore? Doushite???????? Wahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

Anyway, finally back to work, in office, after two days of leave (YES! Applied leave for 2 days in a row...ho ho ho!)Still feeling a little lazy and tend to procastinate...anyway, at least I've finished preparing the shipping documents for the consignment on Monday...now waiting for details...

Okay, what have I been up to during the past two days...let me see...

On 16th March 2005, together with another 3 tutors, we took our students to WILD WILD WET!!!! Boy, it was my first trip to a water theme park and I was kind of excited...but not as excited as the children lah for I heard that 90% of them couldn't sleep during the previous night.

Altogether, there were 12 of us going and it was a good thing that Meiling had asked the boys along because without them, I don't really know how to handle Jiahao. Apparently, he had been going in and out of the toilets upteen times during that 7 hours in WWW. Really have to thank Jiqing for his great help for he had sarcificed his share of fun by bringing Jiahao in and out of the toilets, and not to mention keeping an eye on Jiahao while we were in the Tsunami pool (Jiahao doesn't know how to swim...MY HEAD REALLY BIG BIG WHEN I HEARD THAT..gosh!)

I really enjoyed myself and I think most of them enjoyed themselves too. So, I took the opportunity to set a target for them that they must aim for at least 220 and above for their PSLE and we would bring them to both WWW and ESCAPE....hahhaa...see if it works...coz it is soooo tempting eh?

Around 5 p.m, the 12 'red indians' decided to take their leave and headed for their DINNER! Yes, everyone was so hungry after a day's running, water splashing water and getting splashed...and we don't really had a good lunch in the afternoon.

Much to our expectation, buses were hard to get especially during the knock-off peak period. Yes, we've got to give up boarding two fully-filled double-deck bus no. 89 and wasted around 30 minutes at the bus stop....then, our last resort was to take any bus that would take us to Pasir Ris Interchange and then take the MRT to Outram Park.

GOSH! As I seldom take the 'Green' line, I was shocked when Jiqing informed us that there would be around 16 stops! Haiz~ so, I slept throughout the 15 stations, with Meixuan as my 'bao bao' since she had fallen asleep on my bag....it was already 7 p.m. when we finally reached Outram Park, and we reached 'LAO DI FANG' around 7:20 p.m. and I reached home around 9:30 p.m.

My sister was shocked to me changing my 'race'. Hahahaa! Yep, I now look more like a Malay/Indian rather than a Chinese. As a matter of fact, my complexion used to be like that during my secondary school days because I swam almost 2 or 3 times a week.

Had gotten fairer only after I've been in Polytechnic until two days ago! Because

1)I now seldom swim...
2)Even if I swim, I swim in the evenings...

The next day (i.e. yesterday) was a torture to me, because both my arms and face were HURTING SO MUCH! Yep...sunburns!

Obviously, my nervous system was a little dumber than the rest of the 11 people, for they were already complaining abt sun burning on that day while I FELT NOTHING!

..............Hahhaa....*SWEATDROPS*.................

It started to hurt around 11 a.m. in the morning and that was the time when I needed to go out because I promised to go with my mum for lunch with Auntie Sairu. The surfaces of my arms and face was hurting so much the moment they got contact with the sunray.

I must've looked like a lobster! Well, as a consolation for the pain I have to endure, lunch was delicious! I finished the one big bowl of fishhead meehoon and shared the mee goreng with mom and Auntie Sairu! Yum! Yum!

Thank god I've decided to apply 2 days instead of 1, cos I don't think I would have the mood to work either. When I reached home from lunch, both my arms and face were covered with thick layers of 'Zambak'. I felt like a toast, that is covered with Kaya!

hahaha...well, at least the 'kaya' did help in relieving some of the pains....so, don't really mind being a 'roti bakar'for a day.

..............Hahhaa....*SWEATDROPS*.................

As a matter of fact, the purpose for that extra day off was meant for my Jap examination revision.

Hmmm...had the purpose been served?

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm..........

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm..........

......well...maybe...perhaps...


.......okay, I only managed to revise uptil till Lesson 24...

......but at least...I now get a clearer picture in when to use 'kuremashita', 'agemashita' and 'moraimashita'.

I know it's not enough, but my eyes failed me last night, so I couldn't continue with my revision in the night and went Zzzzzz after watching 'Quan Ming Da Men Guo' in Channel 52.

(EXCUSES! EXCUSES! EXCUSES!)


There will be a lesson tonight, don't really feel like going, but I know that cannot be done, I will still need to go, even when I now look like a fully cooked lobster and have tons of revision not yet done for tomorrow's examination.

It's my responsibility.

Maybe I will try to reach there around 8 p.m. and have myself seated at the last row and be the first to run away after the lesson ended.

Hahaha! See if that can be done...wish me good luck!

Okay, gotta get back to my work now....

ja ne!

Another Time, Another Kiss - Chapter 10 (Completed)

Silence draped the atmosphere for a moment after Kotoko had finished a brief revelation of an event during the past.

Kinnosuke looked at Kotoko, “So, that explained why your eyes were red!” He exclaimed out loud upon the realization and slapped his forehead hard with his palm, “To think I’ve actually bought your ‘dust-in-eyes’ story!”

Kinnosuke sucked in his breath and looked away, his face scarlet. Kotoko was totally astounded by Kinnosuke’s emotional outburst. Tears were forming in his eyes; he pressed his hand over his mouth and shook his head.

“You can be cruel at times, Kotoko.” Kinnosuke finally spoke out again. Kotoko was unable to respond while he locked his gaze so intently on her.

“Kin…” Kotoko tried to reach for Kinnosuke’s hand but he kept them away from hers, feeling a little deceived.

“You’d rather choose to run away with some doctor whom you didn’t even bother to introduce us than to give me a chance! WHY?” There was pain in his already swollen eyes.

For a moment, it was as if thunder had clapped and Kotoko’s ears started ringing with the aftermath of Kinnosuke’s accusation. Kotoko’s mouth opened and closed, but nothing came out.

“It’s not true.” Kotoko said softly.

“It’s true; it’s true!” Kinnosuke said quickly. “Your actions were louder than your words!”

“NO! IT’S NOT TRUE!” Kotoko rebuked, her eyes burning with exasperation and fury.

“And I’m not apologizing for not giving you the chance.” Kotoko said defiantly.

“Despite what I say, you know anyone I choose will always be the second best.” Kotoko reminded him and it made Kinnosuke gone dead inside. He felt like a small bird left behind with winter rushing down over the hills.

“Yes, you are right.” Kinnosuke nodded, “But to me…you are not other people, Kotoko. You will never be other people to me.”

***************

Breakfast during the following morning was an ordeal for the two friends. Both looked apologetic and hurt, but neither would want to be the first to break the awkward silent between them.

Seconds were like minutes and minutes seemed like hours. “Kin…” Kotoko said, her voice surprisingly weak. Kinnosuke lifted his head.

“We need to apologize...” Kotoko said more firmly this time. “...for the things that we’ve said last night.”

“I am sorry…” Kinnosuke apologized quickly. “I am sorry if I seemed abrupt. I just can’t help getting furious…”

“No…” Kotoko interrupted, “…not to each other.”

“Huh? Then, to whom?” Kinnosuke asked and couldn’t help but getting puzzled over Kotoko’s words.

“You, to Chris.” Kotoko replied. “And I, to Takashi.”

“It must have been hearts-tearing for them to hear us…must have…” Kotoko took a deep breath. “Their love for us is not something that can be so easily diminished even when they are not with us anymore. Their devotion is not much lesser than ours.” Kotoko said, restoring a note of happiness to her voice, a bitter kind of happiness.

~Ring ~ Ring~

“I will get it.” Kinnosuke volunteered without hesitation, he needed to get away from the table for it was way too much for him to bear. Minutes later, Kinnosuke returned with one drastically paled expression pinned on his face.

“Kotoko…” Kinnosuke called out, growing a little frantic.

“What happened? Who called?” Kotoko asked.

“A boy named Kinrou called and wants you back immediately.”

“Kinrou?” Kotoko looked up quickly.

“Kyoko has fainted inside the house last night and she is still in a coma.”

To be continued…

The Story....

"Mel, what’s wrong with you? You've become a totally different person. Where's the old Melody Tan whom we adore?" Kevin asked concernedly, at the same time, feeling a little angry to see Mel bottling up her problem instead of confiding in them.

" I am just a little homesick." Mel muttered out blankly, refusing to meet the eyes of her cousin.

" Then why are you here in the first place?" Gavin added. "Auntie told me you are able to enroll into any junior college in Singapore with your preliminary result."

" Hmm…it’s a long story." Mel hesitated and let out a long but oblivous sigh. She did not want to recall anything related to that betrayal because it was indeed, one painful experience. She did not want to admit the fact that she still couldn't forget Joe despite his unfaithfulness.

Everytime when Mel had phoned back home, her parents would ask her if they should reveal her whereabouts to Joe since his phone calls never seemed to stop. Mel had received many letters from Joe, redirected to her via Mrs. Lam. However, she just put the letters aside, unopened.

Mel wanted very much to forgive Joe, but she just couldn’t bring herself to do it because Joe had abused her trust in him.

" I am going back..." Mel informed before getting up from the mat and putting on her robe.

" So fast? You haven’t even gotten into the water." Kevin protested because he had been trying so hard to get Mel out in the sun and here she was, trying to retreat into her own world again.

" No point pondering about the past. You’ve to cheer up a bit." Gavin added in.

" I’m just feeling very tired." Mel forced out a smile and started packing up her belonging. Being fully aware of their baby cousin's stubbornness, both Gavin and Kevin dropped the idea of making her stay...

Match Strikers

Fathers, sons, grandsons

Mothers, daughters, granddaughters

Hearts in their mouths

Defending the faith of…

Their match striker

*

No sacrifice is too big

No sacrifice is too small

For everybody belongs to somebody

Nobody has the right to abuse it but…

A match striker just did

*

One down, two down, perhaps more to go

To defend or to sacrifice, I ask…

Only to hear more shattering wailings

Damn those match strikers

I pray they strike their last matches

And burn forever in hell

*

The Wanderer (My First Poem Posted In Fictionpress.com, Year 2003)

The journey is long

With each silent night passing by

The scent of my lady

Still lingers on in the air

*

Inquisitiveness of a strange land

Yet loneliness prevails

Soft whisperings from unknown faces

Becoming so loud and clear

*

The due of a wretched life

Marks the beginning of one’s silent reminiscences

The due of the shivered lips

Marks the ending of one’s deep regrets

*

The guiding light leading the way

The way to the greenery

The greenery that is now covered with December’s snow

And yet familiar heartbeats are once again heard

*

Another Time, Another Kiss - Chapter 9 (Completed & Revised)

“Kinrou…”

“Huh?” A familiar voice made Kinrou open his eyes.

“Kyoko?” From his half-awaken eyes, Kinrou immediately spotted his lady standing only a few meters away from him.

“Kinrou…” Kyoko called out again. Her face was white as sheet and she looked as if she was feeling very cold because her body was shaking hard.

“Where are you going?” Kinrou started panicking when he noticed Kyoko moving away as if she was drifting aimlessly around like a lost soul in search for the tunnel of light.

“Kinrou…”

“I am here.”

“Where? I can hear you but I can’t see you!” Kyoko cried out hysterically, her eyes searching, directionless, into the dark.

“I…am…here.” Kinrou stuttered, tears rolling down uncontrollably from his eyes, feeling sick at heart by the fact that he was only inches away from Kyoko…face to face.

It was so near and yet…far.

**********

Kinnosuke found Kotoko on the swing in the park she used to go when she was a little girl. She was moving very slowly, her head down, dragging her feet along the ground.

"There you are… I thought you've gone back to Osaka without informing me...again." Kinnosuke remarked jokingly, but Kotoko knew it wasn’t a joke for she would always be his heartbreaker, even when Chris had crossed his path and took him under her wings.

“Do you miss her?" Kotoko asked, looking up.

“Who?" Kinnosuke threw the question back.

"Chris."

"Of course but what can I do?" Kinnosuke sighed, "She loved me so much, so much that it would kill her if I have had gone before her."

"Perhaps, she wanted to get back at me." Kinnosuke laughed a bitter laugh and sat next to Kotoko. Above them, long thin wisps of cloud broke here and there to reveal the stars.

"Get back at you?" Kotoko wondered loud.

“Yeah..." Kinnosuke shook his head. "I've made her cried too many times, even when I was asleep..." Kinnosuke stopped and diverted his glance to the lady who he would very much want to offer her his love.

"That is why she wanted me to remember her for the rest of my life, the longer I live, the longer I would have to remember her." Kinnosuke cried, laughing.

"Evil lady eh? But that's my Chris!"

"Kin..." Kotoko gave him a gentle pat on his shoulder. "Are you okay?" Kotoko asked concernedly, "I am sorry, I shouldn't have brought this up."

"It's okay." Kinnosuke assured, “I bet she is now having another round of victorious celebration up there." Kinnosuke said, pointing to the sky.

"Enough about me. Why are you here in the middle of the night?" Kinnosuke asked.

"Having any problem?"

"I am fine, just having some bad dreams."

"Bad dreams?" Kinnosuke scratched his head, "About him?"

"You know what?" Kinnosuke continued when Kotoko remained quiet. "Even after all these years, and I am already in my late thirties. I...I...still hate him!" He exclaimed.

“He’s...he's an ugly worm!" he said, desperate to find a satisfactory comparison.

"Don't insult worms." Kotoko said, but Kinnosuke didn't understand.

"It's not about him." Kotoko assured, "It's about Kyoko."

"Kyoko?"

"Yes. I had a strange dream just now and I am starting to get a little worry. You know all those little omens here and there, some kind of warning?" Kotoko finally voiced out her worries.

"I am sure she would be fine, don't you forget that she's the daughter of the Aihara Kotoko! The girl who never gives up in anything she believes in!" Kinnosuke said firmly.

"But...I gave up..." Kotoko shook her head sadly.

**********

*FLASH BACK*

“Are you sure you are only here for a drink?” Sai asked slowly and firmly as he passed Naoki a pre-heated Sake bottle and one little cup meant for the wine.

Naoki remained silent as he gulped down almost half the bottle, terribly frustrated by his failure to prove conclusively about his feelings towards Kotoko.

“Yes.” Naoki finally spoke out, looking down. “I’m here for a drink.” He then gulped down the rest of the liquid inside the bottle. “How much?”

“It’s on the house.”

“Thanks.”

“Naoki…” Sai called out when Naoki was at the doorway. “Why wouldn’t you just accept Kotoko? Why?” Sai snapped, unable to contain his anger anymore. Naoki turned to Sai, who was watching intensely for his reactions.

“Our lives have been dramatically disrupted and changed since the day you two moved in. Everyone…everyone,” he repeated, fixing his eyes on Sai.
“...has to make some compromises…but I don’t see why…” Naoki stopped.

“...why I should give in.” Naoki muttered reluctantly, the last words coming from some part of him that he didn’t know existed.

Sai stared at Naoki for a long moment and watched him leaving the premise. There was nothing else he could say to do at that moment even though he would be glad to have his fists across Naoki's cheeks.

“Kotoko?” Sai was shocked to find his daughter back at the door seconds after Naoki left. Had she overheard their conversation?

If yes, Sai could imagine how Kotoko was feeling at the moment.

“I forgot to give you my hostel's phone number.” Kotoko muttered and there was a piece of tear streaked memo paper in her hand. She quickly went over to Sai, placed the paper on the counter before heading back to the exit.

“For goodness sake, Kotoko,” Sai cried. “Stop being so strong!”

“He’s only a smart asshole, who enjoys tormenting you!”

“I am not sure…" Kotoko stopped her track. "I mean, what do you want me to do?”

Kotoko was desperately in finding an appropriate explanation for Naoki’s remarks. Suddenly, it frightened her. Maybe Sai was right, maybe it was very wrong of her to be that persistent over an unfruitful relationship between a tensai and a baka.

“You should hate him.” Sai said.

“I wanted to shout back.” Kotoko took a deep breath. “But my brain wouldn't send the instruction to my mouth.”

Kotoko moaned and shook her head. “I could never hate him.”

“But Kotoko, you are only putting yourself into deeper water by thinking…”

“Just stop it…” Kotoko intercepted, even though tears flooded her eyes, her backbone straightened like a flag pole, her pride waving.

“I just wanted our kisses to be kisses that reached into the farthest corners of my heart to stir my imagination.” Kotoko's words were left hanging in the air.

She walked out of the eating house slowly, rubbing her eyes. “Oh god, make me forget.” Kotoko pleaded silently. “I need to forget.”

To be continued....

Karma

I don't know why I am having problem typing out the chinese font in this area...so, I think I will have to finish the story (of my previous blog) with my lousily translated English version....hahaha


Okay, so the King of Hade decided to grant the human spirit his wish, that is, to let him have the 10 years from the cow, dog and monkey and happily, the 4 spirits went on their way to the mortal world.

Now, the human would have a lifespan of 60 years, let's take a closer look at how he lived his life....

For the first 29 years, he lived happily and led a normal life until he met his true love on the day he turned 30 and they married each other within a few months of dating.

For the next ten years of his life (from 30 to 40), he had to slog and slog, days and nights, as if he was a cow (remember? after the 30 years of life span that he originally had, the next 10 years was donated by the cow's spirit.) ploughing the padi fields days and nights.

He had to endure all those tiring works because he needed as much money as he could possibly make in order to cater all the needs and requirements of his wife, not to mention that she had given him 4 adorable babies.

Soon, another 10 years had passed and he was near his retirement age...he was glad that all his efforts in putting his children through their education didn't go down the drain for all the four of them were exceling academically.

However, he had this realisation that he had spent most of his time in his living room, staring at the unopened door during the nights, sometime during wee hours, waiting for his children (who were already in their teens) to return because he was so worried about them...he felt just a dog, waiting anxiously for its owner to come home (remember, the next 10 years of his life was donated by the dog's spirit).

Finally, all his children had gotten married and of course, he became a grandfather and also reached the age of retirement. In order to reduce his children's monetary burden and also to find something to do for time killing, he volunteered to babysit his grandchildren while they were at work.

One fine day....

" Grandpa! Grandpa!" One of his little granddaughter came runing to him in tears.

" What happened?" He asked concernedly.

" Gor Gor beat me!" The little girl complained before bursting into tears again.

" Don't cry, don't cry..." The old man quickly made a funny face and fortunately it manage to stop the girl from crying.

" Haha...grandpa...you look so funny...just like the monkey in the Discovery Channel!"

~ The End ~

So, what is this story trying to tell us?

Why don't you spend some time to observe around and then let me know....because only the one who drinks the glass of water can determine if it is a glass of warm or cold water....

因 果 循 環 的 寓 聞

有 一 天 ﹐ 地 藏 王 菩 薩 公 判 四 條 靈 魂 -- 人 ﹑ 牛 ﹑ 狗 ﹑ 猿 ﹐ 各 判 轉 世 投 胎 ﹐ 壽 命 為 三 十 載 ﹐ 並 都 為 他 們 說 明 了 生 活 的 職 責 內 容 後 ﹐ 問 大 家 是 否 有 問 題 。

首 先 ﹐ 人 道 靈 魂 提 出 異 議 ﹕ “ 三 十 年 太 短 了 ﹐ 是 否 可 增 多 幾 十 年 ﹖

接 著 被 判 轉 生 畜 生 道 的 牛 ﹑ 狗 ﹑ 猿 也 提 出 了 異 議 ﹕ “ 三 十 年 太 長 了 ﹐ 可 否 減 短 十 年 ﹖ ”

被 判 轉 生 為 人 的 靈 ﹐ 看 到 牛 ﹑ 狗 ﹑ 猿 都 要 求 減 短 壽 命 十 年 ﹐ 於 是 又 再 第 二 次 懇 求 ﹕ “ 是 否 可 以 把 牛 ﹑ 狗 ﹑ 猿 所 要 求 減 短 的 十 年 壽 命 ﹐ 都 由 我 領 受 ﹖ ”

A Story

It was summer, a great time for sun bathers and swimmers to enjoy their days in the beach, especially the beach of Gold Coast. Depsite such joyous time of the year, Melody Tan was still the loneliest girl at heart. Mel had been in Australia for almost two months and was staying in an apartment owned by one of her uncles, who migrated to Australia during years ago for the sake of their business.

Mel had two cousins, Kevin and Gavin, who were twelve and fifteen years older than her respectively. Due to the great difference in the age gap, they adored Mel very much, treating her more like their daughter rather than a cousin since both of them were childless after years of marriages to two workaholic wives.

Due to her cheery nature, Mel often took the role of a joker whenever someone was feeling down and even if the sky would fall, she'd use it as her blanket. However, during this sudden visit from their baby cousin, both Kevin and Gavin noticed something different. Mel was no longer the cheerful Melody they knew when she had practically locked herself inside her apartment during the first week of her stay...

How's my TOP 10 THINGS THAT I NEED TO ACCOMPLISH IN YEAR 2005 going on right now:

How's my TOP 10 THINGS THAT I NEED TO ACCOMPLISH IN YEAR 2005 going on right now:

1. Try to get FedEx to trace the digital camera that they have lost in their Nigeria Office (wonder if they would compensate us if they couldn't manage to find it...haiz~)

Damn FedEx had confirmed loosing my package in Nigeria due to a 'fire outbreak' in their Nigeria office. Gosh! Can you imagine my reaction when I heard about this and best of all would be the compensation part.

They are actually compensating me with only USD 10.00 when it was a digital camera worth SIN$700+++! The reason given was "Oh! Because you've only declared USD 10.00 in your invoice. So, that's the best we can do, Mdm."

I really wanted to strangle that lady who is on the other line, but I know that she is only working for her management. Of course I've to declare only a insignificant value on the invoice since the package was supposed to be 'Christmas Gift'! How can we indicate the full value in the invoice, when the invoice would be received by the receiver? This value declaration is a normal and standard procedure for anyone who is dealing with importing/exporting (not to mention that I've been doing this for so many years!!)

Damn them for using this loop hole when come to compensation....Worst of all is that perhaps they did feel a little 'guilty' after I've practically slammed the phone (Pardon me for my agitation during that time, I am not a Saint...I would get angry when something unfair has happened to me) and after my client had sent them a harsh e-mail concerning their compensation.

They called up, it was another lady with a sweet voice*Smart move* and informing me that their management had finally decided to compensate us with an amount of SIN$50++ based on the weight 1.3kg....

Oh boy! How kind it was of them to do so...what really pissed me off was that now they were calculating the weight basing on 1.3kg (which was the actual weight of the parcel) when they were practically charging me a freight charge of 1.7kg (rounded up to 2kg) based on dimensional weight during that time...which cost us an extra amount of SIN$100.00!

SHAME ON THEM TO DO THAT!

Anyway, I was already utterly disappointed with them during that time and my client has also resigned to his fate concerning his lost package. So, USD 10.00 or SIN$50++ compensation, we don't really care anymore, because that would be the LAST TIME we are engaging FEDEX service.


2. Make sure I understood all those %^$&#% sentence structures of my Japanese lessons and haiz~ LISTENING COMPREHENSION.......(why must they speak so fast????)

Urghhh!! 19th March 2005 would be the day of my Jap E-3 examination...and I am still struggling with my time management when comes to revision...I really tried to revise my Jap on Tuesday, but I found myself falling asleep on the sofa.... p(>.<)q..... then, I tried to listen to the CD in order to enhance my listening during last night...and I ended up falling asleep on my bed after Lesson 23........ p(>.<)q........................

Okay, at least I tried....so, tonight I need to revise since tomorrow would be Saturday again and alas, homework not done yet...gosh...to think I've spent my hard earned okane only to waste it like that???

That shouldn't be the way!

Renshuushite kudasai!!!


3. Get on the road as frequently as possible....

As a matter of fact, I was about to get a chance to be on the road when Meiling-san told us that she would be able to borrow a car from her brother-in-law during our gathering in the CNY. Unfortunately, we couldn't manage to get a car during the last minute...so back to buses, MRT and of course, aruite...which was a relieving news for both Huijia's and my haha when they learnt that we wouldn't be having a car during our outing. Haiz~

Yesterday, Ruru-san had obtained her driving lic...so now, we have another driver...so, let see how in the future...perhaps, we can try renting a kuruma in our future outing since three of us can drive now...of course, I am still waiting for my bosses to tell me when they are going to let me have a car since it was their idea that I should get a driving lic....(under normal circumstance, I wouldn't even be thinking of getting a lic since I know I would never have my own car and not even the driving lessons...it cost the company $2000++ for me finally obtain the lic now what?

So, I am waiting.......

4. Finishing up my stories...

Okay, the good news is that the plots in how to continue my ATAK is slowly coming out, well, I think a lot of revamping would be done to the rest of the storyline, meaning I am going to steer the storyline in another direction.....Aitian-chan, thank you very much for wanting to read this and just to let you know that I am dedicating this fiction especially to you!!!!!

5. Translations pending to do...

Fortunately I've only started redoing my translation after my home compt had crashed....so I am still in vol 1 of Itakiss...ganbarimasu!

6. Finish reading all those unread mangas, unwatached Korean/Japanese Dorama and Japanese Animation VCD

Ahhhh! Wouldn't really want to go into this area...coz the piles of mangas, stacks of VCD are still intact...except for 'ONE PIECE'. I have finished disc 24 (66 CD more to go!)

I know, I know, I shouldn't be watching ONE PIECE first since this set of VCD is mine and I can watch it anytime AFTER FINISHING those that were borrowed. But I just couldn't help it! Every adventure of the crews are so intense that I couldn't control myself in putting down the remote control....ahhhh!!!! I need to touch those mangas!!!!!!

Gomen nasai Dee dee-chan!
Gomen nasai Alicia-chan!
Gomen nasai Buay Huang-san!

Hontouni gomen nasai!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


7. Make sure my baby sis gotten a good aggregate for her O level this year! (AIM: a '10' or lesser perhaps??? hehehee)

Hmmm...my little 'baby' has gotten a little depressed lately because she has been failing her Chemistry, Geography and I think even English test....well, what can I say? Her CCA had forbidden her for having her own revision time....it is a good thing that all those test marks are not significant since they won't be having any mid-year or end-year examination coz there won't be any 3-month course for JC anymore...but again, those test marks can be demoralizing sometimes...

Wouldn't be able to help her at the time being because she is always very tired....of course she's tired...she gets up at 5:30 a.m. every morning and reaches home around 5-6 p.m. in the evening...that's even longer than my working hour....

All my brother and I could do right now is to calm her nerves about those test marks. Well, at least she has gotten an A1 and distinction for her oral for the 'O' level Chinese. An A1 safely inside her pocket. Let's see how she would fare for her O level this year....

8. Make sure those two students of mine would pass their PSLE (specially Jiahao) with FLYING COLOURS!

I have requested in getting Amelia under Huijia's supervison because I don't think I can cope with two students when Jiahao has needed extra attention in his work. Gosh! Somtimes I wonder what help I can offer to this kid when the tuition is only once a week. Please, let him realise the importance of his future sooner and before he starts regretting....

9. Make sure Eugene would get rid of his 'carelessness' in his works (especially Maths)

Well, I can skip this since I am no longer Eugene's tutor anymore *sniff*sniff*

10. To get my karaoke singing at least a little better than last year....hahahahhaa :P

Hmmm....well, I can only say I would just have to try my best...hahahaa

Life goes on....

I need my sleep! *Yawns*

Okay, last night...hmmm...was a little depressing, for during those two hours...I really wanted to teach him everything that I know...but it's simply impossible eh? At least we've gone through with his English corrections (at least I never get things done halfway) and the conclusion so far is that Eugene is very good at guessing. Ha! Nevertheless, I wish him all the best in his studies.

Also, managed to make him do as many pages of the Chinese Assessment Book (using the colourful stars stickers as a lure...ho ho ho...evil me!) and was quite satisfied with his work since I only hinted him once a while. Don't really get it how come he had only gotten 28.5/40 for his recent Chinese test? Haiz~

On the way home, I nearly cried out when I was in the bus because I already missed the feeling of teaching...it really feels good to be able to teach people things that they don't know and the expression of 'I get it' on the students' face always brighten up my days. Hoosh! Set the feeling aside, course now I have to focus on my sister's 'O' level and Jiahao's PSLE during this year!

Ganbarimasu!

It's a good thing that the plots of ATAK are slowly emerging from the rusty brain cells of mine...let's see if I can manage to draft the next chapter by tonight. Sugoi!

Shoo~ Shoo~

25 minutes more to go. All the sudden, I seem to be so free from work, or am I just procastinating? Hmmm....

The butterflies still haven't go away yet since I started blogging during 2++ p.m. I dun really like the feeling of unsure...it makes ppl feel so...un-sure?? hmmm...

Have printed out the rest of my ATAK...going to redo them when I am back home and of course, back from tonight's ordeal...(hopefully it would not be an ordeal...) and please, inspiration, come back to mama....I really wanted to finish up all those unfinished stories...gosh!

Gonna stay up late tonight because I need to catch up with the CSI episode that would repeat around 1 a.m. Hmmm...at least, in the future, I won't have to do that since I would be free (unless other things crop up) on every Wednesday and I won't have to rush from places to places during every Sunday...haiz~ shouldn't I be happy? How come everything seem so....fake?? Is the smile that is now pinned on my face fake too?

18 minutes more to go...time always goes slow during your darkest period (is this one of those?? Is tonight's situation really that dark or am I just enhancing the shade to the original non-dark situation??) and one minute is like...forever....

Good, 16 mintues to go...my boss is now strolling between the lift and his office...wonder what he is doing...one thing for sure, he has decided to leave since he has already switched off the lights in his office....

14 minutes more...just had a tiny conversation with boss regards the spare parts of our products...the lift just wouldn't come down...so glad to see him taking the stairs...hahaha...sometimes I wonder when will he be back to his usual self? The good old man who is generous and kind...perhaps?? Am waiting...still waiting...would be waiting....

12 minutes more... still holding another phone conversation with boss...obviously, he hasn't been totally out of the office yet...intercomed up asking me about the catalogues...why must he have so many questions? Haiz~

10 more minutes...the butterflies still fluttering around inside my stomach...gosh I am hungry... I think I am getting a little fond of Wu Ke Qun's songs...would I have the urge to buy his CD?? Nah...dun think so...

8 minutes more...urghhh...gotten another intercom from boss...now he is blabbering about some replacement....why must he be so....haiz~ running out of words in describing his character....oh god....what should we do with him????

6 minutes more...am I really that consistent????

I hate those butterflies.....shoo shoo~ GO AWAY!

The reason behind the "ACTUAL REASON"....(DAMN MY EGO!)

I am getting butterflies inside my stomach again! Urghhh! I hate it because it is a sign that I am starting to worry about those 'what if' situations again.

Gosh! Why is my brain doing so many unnecessary pondering? Really wanted to scream into my head "STOP IT!!!!!!!!!!! STOP TORTURING YOURSELF!" but I just couldn't do it. It's one of those times when I hate the weakling side of myself.

Should I just take the reason as the actual reason and go as per normal, just that today would be the last day and I will gracefully and happily say goodbye at the end of the 2-hour sessions and never to step into that premise again.

Or

Should I call to tell her what's the point of going on since there won't be a next time again and then ask her to pass me the money via her sister?

Hmmmm....the second suggestion seems awful because who knows, that reason given might be the actual reason given? Haiz~ why on earth am I here making my life miserable unnecessarily? It's life...there's ups and downs! I keep telling people that and of course, constantly reminding myself this fact. But why can't I just accept it gracefully like some wise old woman? (That's because I am not old nor wise...hahahhaa....*sweatdrops*)

What could be the worst?

I know...it's my ego.

I hate it...but I can be egoistic sometimes....I hate it...but that would be me...an egoistic woman if not controlled properly.

That's probably why I am feeling miserable eversince that phone call...though I had agreed so gracefully and without any regrets...but deeply, my hidden ego is screaming out loud...wanting to know the truth behind the 'actual reason'.

Come on....why do I have to keep emphasizing on that 'ACTUAL REASON'? Urghh!!! Hate myself...hate it..hate it.....

.... ... . ... .. ..... ..... . . ..... hate it .. . . ....... .. ........ ..... ....... hate it... ....... hate it.....

The reason given would be the ACTUAL REASON....okay????

Face it...life is all about facing the consequence of one's action.

Face it...I might just not meeting up to her standard. Of course, I can give him a lot and a lot of homework (if that is what she wants in order to feel that her son has been fully tutored) but would that be a right thing to do??? Sometimes, doing the right thing might not be the right thing to do....this is just how things work...but I just stubbornly ignoring all these facts in life and naively thinking that I could work it out just fine...

Wait a minute...why am I keep thinking myself as a victim? Perhaps she is not what I think she is...and I am just here foolishly and evilly accusing of someone innocent and venting out my frustration via this blog?

Gosh! I really wanted to cry now upon reflecting my thoughts coz they were all soo soo negative....what should I do?

Oh god...help me...please....damn me....